God, that sucked. This couldn’t have come at a worst time for me emotionally. I’m in the throes of PMS, I was going to call a therapist next week to start dealing with my occasionally debilitating anxiety, and I fall into one of the high-risk health categories with 2 chronic illnesses that mess with my immune systems.

Did I mention my anxiety is triggered by medical issues?

The irony of that is that hermiting up for the foreseeable future isn’t that terrible a prospect, at least right now. I have a job that allows me to work from home, I have internet, I have a home that I enjoy, a whole stash of yarn to knit with, and a cat to keep me company. I cobbled together a workstation in my living room and I was ready.

((Narrator: She was not ready.))

The thing about working from home is that the higher-ups are watching your productivity like a hawk, and the lower ups are reminding you of that every day, so make sure you stay productive. But what about when the workload is normally pretty light?

Audits. The tedious bullshit tasks that I usually live for. Only now I’m trying to be so thorough that I’m not making it through the daily lists of things in time and, even when my boss tells me, “You’re fine!” There’s still that brainweasel that says NO, ONE SLIP AND YOU’RE FIRED and I’m plunged right back into memories of my soulless crazy micromanaging boss and REMEMBER IT’S PMS WEEK?

I’ll get better. As soon as my period hits this will be more manageable. As soon as my new chair gets here and sitting stops being so painful, I’ll be able to settle into the new normal. But right now, when I’m working every second of every day with no coffee breaks, no pause to chat with my team, and pushing to just get through that list before the end of the day leaves me so drained that I can’t even enjoy the evening because I’m thinking about the unfinished work all evening? Working from home is even more stressful than it is when I’m at the office. I don’t even have time to think about the pandemic, until it’s time to sleep, and then I need to distract myself enough to fall asleep.

(just got the notification that my new chair will be here Sunday – here’s hoping!)

Positives to social distancing:

• Working from home means I can sleep a little longer.
• I can watch Critical Role while I go about my day.
• I’m cooking for myself a LOT.
• I’m saving money by not getting Starbucks or eating out.
• I can pet my cat whenever I want through the day.

Negatives to social distancing:

• I miss my bestie and our Friday nights with Picard and CBS silliness.
• I don’t like the way my routine’s been disrupted.
• I worry that I’m exposing myself every time I go out for groceries, even though I don’t think there are that many reported cases here in my area.
• I really miss Starbucks.
• I miss being able to relax at work.
• I worry about food shortages, especially when the diabetes means I can’t have the usual carb-laden staples.
• I worry about increased panic as this goes on.
• I worry for my friends and their families potentially being infected.

Despite all this, I’m trying to stay positive. The first week is over. I have faith that we’ll get through this. I’m going to be gaming via Facebook video chat with friends this weekend. I’ll have a better chair (or at least a cushion!) to get me through the coming weeks of working from home.

At least I hope so. Stay safe, everyone!